Lou
Season 1[]
Welcome to Camp Kikiwaka[]
| “ | Welcome! I'm Lou, camp counselor and head Woodchuck in charge! And did I see a moose with a hat!!!!!! | ” |
| “ | Oops! My bad. We'll make you a sling in arts and crafts. So, you're my new counselor in training? Let the training begin. Sit! Jk! | ” |
| “ | No, seriously. Sit, or you're goin' in the crate! JK again! I'm all about the JKs! Lol! | ” |
| “ | So, how many years of camp experience do you have? | ” |
| “ | But you like kids, right? | ” |
| “ | So why do you want to be a camp counselor? | ” |
| “ | Good luck! Christina Ross is a legend around here. They say she could assemble a s'more in two seconds flat, and her dream catchers actually caught dreams! | ” |
| “ | Nature's popcorn. Speaking of fashion, I hate to brag, but I'm a cover girl. | ” |
| “ | Yep. Four-H Digest. The big fall flea and tick issue. | ” |
| “ | Then during free time tomorrow, we can dive for mud dabs, and connect your mosquito bites to see what shape they make! Look, mine make Abe Lincoln! | ” |
| “ | She's not really good with new people. Or old people. Or any people. | ” |
| “ | Nope. | ” |
| “ | She is a good leader! Just ask our campers. | ” |
| “ | She is not! She has legendary counselor Christina Ross' blood running through her veins! | ” |
| “ | That's my bunk buddy, people! | ” |
| “ | Oh! A pretty girl covered in mud, and you thought he wasn't going to like that? What's next? You hand her a tray of hot wings and have her turn on football? | ” |
| “ | You are not! You're much better than my last CIT, Tammy. She took the kids to pet the hibernating bears. | ” |
| “ | Exactly! It was a lot of paperwork. | ” |
| “ | At least not while you're still breathing. Sorry, that sounded much more supportive in my head. | ” |
| “ | The Spot is the place in the woods where the kids go to... You know. | ” |
| “ | Come on! Come on! | ” |
| “ | That's seven years from now! | ” |
| “ | Xander? You're supposed to be with Emma. Why are you here? | ” |
| “ | Emma went to The Spot because you sent her that note telling her to meet you there. | ” |
| “ | Uh-oh. This Woodchuck smells a rat. | ” |
| “ | Gee, who would want to send Emma out into the woods? I'm looking at you, Hazel. Right where your soul should be! | ” |
| “ | Wow, you are lighter than a chicken, and their bones are hollow! | ” |
| “ | Good idea! Hazel, go down and ask it for a date. | ” |
| “ | And sometimes offensive odors will drive animals off! | ” |
| “ | After that fart, there's nothing alive within 100 miles. | ” |
| “ | Way to be a leader, Woodchuck. I think your mom would be really proud of you. | ” |
| “ | Don't you agree, Hazel? | ” |
| “ | Camp's the other way. | ” |
| “ | Perfect! Aww! My little Woodchuck's all grown up! | ” |
| “ | Wait till I teach you how to give a porcupine a French braid. Hurts like heck, but they look so darn adorable! | ” |
| “ | Wow, last time the bonfire was this big, Gladys had dropped her canteen in it. | ” |
Gone Girl[]
| “ | Hi, sister from another mister! | ” |
| “ | Hey, Woodchucks never frown. No, seriously, it's impossible. Their massive incisors prevent mouth inversion. | ” |
| “ | Aw, Emma, look, boys are like hotdogs. Delicious, but wondering about what's inside will make you puke. | ” |
| “ | Great, let's do this! | ” |
| “ | Oh, right. A solo sitch. Hit it! | ” |
| “ | Emma, if you don't say yes, I will. | ” |
| “ | Yay! You two go together like peanut butter and eggs. What? It's delicious. | ” |
| “ | Don't be. I'm sure this time it won't be as messy as it was with your last girlfriend. | ” |
| “ | Me, too. You did everyone a favor by getting rid of her. | ” |
| “ | Oh, man, she won't know what hit her! | ” |
| “ | Yeah. | ” |
| “ | The turkey was already dead. | ” |
| “ | She went to The Spot with Xander. | ” |
| “ | Oh, she's long gone. Just like this turkey leg's gonna be. | ” |
| “ | Ravi! Stop! They're just on a date Oh! | ” |
| “ | I'm okay! Ravi broke my fall. | ” |
| “ | Ooh, are we making s'mores? | ” |
Camp Rules[]
| “ | Or you can be buried neck deep in a fire ant hole. | ” |